Exploring Abundance & Prosperity

The Challenge of Abundance

My wife made an interesting observation this week. Apparently, I’m afraid of money. Or so she thinks. And y’know what, I think she’s right.

You see, last week, I was presented with the opportunity to earn a lot of money. I mean, more than I’d ever earned before (which is saying something). It would have had me earning 6 figures a year. And, to someone who’s never earned more than 60K/year, that’s a lot of money.

My initial reaction to the news was excitement, but fear, and even depression, quickly set in.

Part of me simply didn’t know what to do with the extra money. Oh, we budgeted extra money for savings, for the kids, for food, for clothes, to buy a house, for our retirement, for investing, for charity, etc. But there was still LOTS of money left over each month.

And I realized that what was stressing me out was the abundance. The excess was causing me major, major stress.

Since then, it’s come to seem that that which I feared the most (the abundance) is in question. Not because the opportunity isn’t as clearly there for the taking, but because I’ve begun to fear both what will happen IF it happens, and what will happen if it DOESN’T happen.

A bit of a conundrum. And, to be honest, I feel like there is a huge brick wall in front of me. And that there is no way to get to that blessing (it’s a huge step for me to even say it is a blessing, but I now view it as such).

So, I’ve decided to fast. I haven’t fasted in a long time. I’ll only be taking in liquids, specifically water, fruit and vegetable juices, etc. I’m intending to blog here during the times when I should be eating, and I’ll also be praying that God would show me what is going on, that he would work in my heart to be able to accept blessing (even, and specifically, abundant blessing) and that we as a family would break through this wall.

I do want this blessing. I do believe it is a God blessing. And the least I can do is sacrifice my time, my spiritual discipline and my life to hopefully enable God to bring it to pass. And along the way, my hope is that he will change me so that not only can I accept the blessing, but that I can give it away more freely to bless my family, my friends and my community.

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